An Attitude for Gratitude

Research shows that we’d be happier as well as suffering less depression and stress if we made an effort to be grateful on a daily basis.  In addition, we’d sleep better and be in a better position to face our problems.   People who are religious often view gratitude as a manifestation of virtue that they practice daily.  Robert Emmons, a UC Davis professor who has been studying gratitude since 1998 says that gratitude can measurably change one’s life, and that it is uniquely important to our well-being.   He also says that we could not be who we are or be where we are in life without the contributions of others and that gratitude implies humility. Another researcher Jeffrey Froh a professor at Hofstra University in New York found that high school students who were grateful teenagers were also less likely to be depressed.  He also found that these teens are more likely to want to give back to their communities and more likely to have higher grades.

In the school setting, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard teachers judge students based on the child’s use of “please” and “thank you”.  Your child’s teacher is more than likely judging your child on the use of these two simple words.  If your child regularly uses please and thank you, your child’s teacher will more than likely have a positive view toward your child.  This is an advantage especially at the beginning of a school year.

Teach your children to allow gratitude to touch their hearts. An attitude for gratitude creates a shift in all of our consciousness.  Encourage your children to express gratitude daily perhaps by naming one thing for which they are grateful.  Have them get in the habit of saying, “Please” and “Thank you” by saying those words to you.

When your child is given a gift, have them write a thank you text, email, or note expressing their gratitude.  This may be a battle if your child does not like to write, so you may want to provide a sentence framework for her/him.  Get creative and think outside of the box.  Children can make a picture, a piece of art, or even a song to express their gratitude.  One of these ideas will make it easier for those children who find writing difficult. When I taught, I was often given small gifts from students throughout the course of the school year.  To reinforce this skill, I always wrote a personal thank you note to each student who gave me a gift.

There are a lot of resources available on gratitude.  To learn more, you may want to read Robert Emmons’ books.  He’s written three on gratitude which include Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, Words of Gratitude Mind Body and Soul, and Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity.  If you or your child are not readers, there a number of short films on gratitude at TEDx Talks.  For those of you who might like to keep a gratitude journal an excellent online one can be found www.Thnx4.org. A gratitude journal is an excellent activity for older children and teens.

Gratitude works not only in you and your child’s own world views, but in the way in which others view you and your child.  And I would say it is especially important in the way many teachers view your child.